21 things

It has been while since I last wrote. A lot has happened. I cannot even begin to describe how much I feel I have transformed into a completely new person. But I can begin by writing about the 21 things I have learnt so far from my 21 years of existence.

  1. Self-care and self-development is more important than anything else. I implore you to put this as a high priority, above everything else. Everything will fall into place once you’re actively working on yourself.
  2. Family has always been there for me through thick and thin despite all the mistakes I have made. Continue to foster your relationship with them. They are blood.
  3. Nourish your friendships. The people you affiliate yourself with are important and help shape you. Ensure that you never let anyone treat you with disrespect and unkindness. And if you do, learn from your mistake and move on. Be yourself and the right kind of friendships will gravitate towards you.
  4. Awareness of one’s self is imperative to making the right, conscious decisions. When you lose touch with who you are, and what you stand for – you will fall for anything. It is important to be self-aware and to self reflect.
  5. Not everything is going to make sense now, but it will eventually. A lot of things had happened in my life that resulted in me questioning everything and wanting to find an answer to every little question. But most of the time, you are NOT going to find all the answers. They will be revealed in due time and when it does happen, you will understand why things unraveled the way they did and made you the person you are now.
  6. You’re always learning – never expect that you’re going to get everything straight away. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to understand something fully. Just remember that it’s all part of the process
  7. Humility will propel and transform you. Don’t see yourself as higher or lower than anyone. Know your worth.
  8. Be adventurous – say yes to opportunities but don’t over burden yourself
  9. Do good in the world as best as you can. You cannot do everything but you can make a difference in an area you’re passionate about.
  10. Success is not a linear process nor is life. I have learnt that sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things fall into place. I have experienced this first hand. In the moment it seems like everything falling apart but in time you shall see how it works out for the better.
  11. Faith without works is dead. Without exercising faith in yourself, living with integrity, speaking words and putting those words into action. Practicing what you preaching essentially. If you act against the values you hold, those values cease to exist.
  12. Self-expression is the key to happiness. I held myself back for so long due to the fear of the unknown, the fear of what people would think about me. I was only keeping myself hostage to their expectations of me. Find a medium to which you can express yourself… in writing, music, art or poetry. Whatever it is, lose you self in it.  Don’t be afraid to express your authentic self.
  13. Volunteering and networking opened up so many doors and opportunities – go and explore different ways to get involved. Dive deep. You learn so much from delving into serving others and taking the time to help others in need.
  14. Learn to accept difficult circumstances – there are certain things you do not have control over. What you do have control of however, is how you react and how you deal with the situation. Accept what is, and work on moving forward not backward. It took me a while to learn this
  15. Travel. Leave for a while. Go out and experience different types of environments, work with different kinds of people. Widen those dimensions within yourself, full of experience. You will not regret it. I intend on going solo-travelling one day.
  16. Treat yourself but do not over indulge – self-explanatory. All good things in moderation. Stay away from things that do not make yourself better or things that will only make you feel worse in the long run. E.g. just eat one piece of cake… or two.
  17. Ask yourself when was the last time you did something for the first time? Do something new, something you’ve never done before.
  18. Do not let people treat you less than you deserve. Have a standard of networks around you. I learnt the hard way…
  19. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we lie to ourselves for temporary happiness and the burden of facing the truth. Come to terms with your weaknesses and your strengths. It will make you stronger
  20. Cultivate a growth mindset. You are more than your limitations…
  21. Stay away from things that you know will only hurt you in the end. Save yourself from that burden and just learn to walk away. You have a choice in the things you do that will only make you better or further burden you.

Eyes through rose coloured glass

I am going to read much more widely in the hopes of improving my literary skills. I have read quite exceptional works of art lately and it has motivated me to improve my writing – so stay tuned!

I do know though that I have been endeavouring to work solely on being the person I want to be. The process isn’t as straightforward as I thought it would be. It has been a bumpy, sticky, messy ride. But you come to know that life is just that. I bundle of surprises, wrong turns, misses and wins.

So I am going to go straight ahead and say it… We choose how we see life or how we want it to be – as a beautiful mess, or as miserable chaos. It is just as straightforward as that. I have tried to seek answers elsewhere – complicated, evidence based answers through writing and people, and there’s no other equation. It is a cognitive choice.

I for one have chosen to spend most of my time choosing to look at life from a dim and miserable perspective. I thought this was way better. At times I still think it lowers your expectations and thus, in turn does not keep your hopes up. But what was the use… I was spending majority of my time unhappy, when this should be the peak of my very own existence. I am young, free and healthy and yet I was choosing to see life from a gloomy perspective, robbing myself from the precious happiness I could have had from “choosing” to smile and laugh that day.

It not easy. I can attest to the hardship I have felt.

So here are a few things I was grateful for these few months:

  • Poetry – how it fills the soul with love
  • Unconditional love – how it awakes gratitude in your heart
  • Kind people – puts a smile on your face when you least expect
  • Lessons – when you want something good, but turns out there’s something better
  • Music – for soothing the soul
  • Beautiful landscapes – aesthetically stunning and grandeur
  • Sunshine – the way it kisses your skin when the light touches you
  • Home – shelters you from the scorching heat and icy winds.
  • Sunsets and how the air cools down just before the sun disappears

And most importantly, I thank God for being there for me through thick and thin. He’s always been there for me, sending me little hints and messages yet I had decided to ignore the signals resulting in my own misery. I continue to move up each day! And with one step back, it will be three steps forward! I hope you can do this with me too.

Sincerely,

Nicole

Trust yourself // 10215

Life is unpredictable and each choice you make, will later result in a significant impact whether you acknowledge it or not.

My thoughts for the month of September was that people are going to let you down. I’ve been let down a lot lately – by people who were of much importance in my life. This includes acquaintances, friends, family and most importantly…myself.

You get those days where you feel as if every single person has it in for you. You’re being ridiculed, hated or disliked. That’s what you think right? Well, how much of that is actually true or correct? You’ll never know, but in time, you learn that you only have yourself and you will need to only rely on yourself, and not ANYONE else.

One great thing I’ve learnt in the past month is that, people will let you down, but the only person who can build yourself up, is yourself. Therefore you have to build a solid relationship with your inner self. It’s so freaking hard. I find it so hard to love myself. Surprised? I’m sure I’m not the only one. When you’re a complete perfectionist like I am, nothing below what you expect of yourself is acceptable. You become so harsh on yourself that your self-esteem plummets. And IT. IS. HARD. I haven’t figure that out myself yet. But when we live in a world where people are seeking validation, fame and acceptance through others, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. You lose sight of your aspirations, your dreams, values and your passions. You eventually find yourself in a deep dark tunnel where there’s no end in sight.

But despite the bouts of sadness, I still believe in myself. I want to be heard. I want to be loved. I want to make a difference, even though it looks as if my future is a blur and is not crystal clear yet. I want to love and trust myself. And I guess the most important thing is for…that alone to be a start. To learn to love and care for yourself. With that, I believe you can change the world.

Gratitude // 300815

We can lift ourselves and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thoughts and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. – Thomas S. Monson

Often times we find that we are overly self-critical of ourselves and pick out every negative thing about our personality, circumstances and self-appearance. This negativity is then compounded by even more negative thoughts; seeing the worst in the people around us and overall we start to see everything in a dark and cynical perspective.

What might we be lacking here? Confidence? Love? Positivity?

I’ve been wondering why we sometimes find ourselves in this pit of negativity. Perhaps, it may be due to ingratitude. We look for the things we DON’T have, rather than the things we already have. Blessings in disguise.

Sometimes, we overlook the great things we already HAVE in this world. It’s not easy though. We can get caught up looking and dwelling on all the negative things we’ve experienced. It’s a human thing, no doubt. But, if left unattended it can become self-destructive to our soul and being. We all deserve to be loved – to be loved by ourselves first and foremost.

So, from now on… Every month, I will do an appreciation and gratitude post. I will post 10 things I was grateful for that month. I think this will help me see the light, in times where I’ve felt so much darkness in my life. Trust me, we’ve all been there. So, I hope you begin to see the light in your lives too, no matter how hopeless or dark you may feel in THIS moment.

  1. I am grateful for a beautiful home. I am fortunate enough to live in a home where I am safe from the perils of the cold this winter. I have a beautiful view from the balcony- over looking a lake. I live nearby a general practice for when I get sick, a cinema, a mall, a park, a pet store, a beach and so much more. Everything is close by which is so convenient for my family and I. We’re up on this hill along with other houses and this keeps us safe from floods. We have a lovely street where the trees are beautifully aligned and are great for walking my dog – seeing the trees change every season. I have a bed and shelter. It’s just a lovely place to have grown up in.
  2. I am grateful for family. I live in a very, very busy household. There are four of us. Mum, Dad, myself and my younger sister. We are all very busy! But despite our busy lives, we make time for each other always. I am grateful for my mother’s diligence, patience and resilience. I am grateful for my dad’s hard work and humour of which makes life joyful. I am grateful for my sister’s love and peace she brings to the home. And like any other family, we have our days. But I will always be grateful for our togetherness and bond that is undeniably strong. And I am grateful for parents for instilling values and teachings that has made me the person I am now.
  3. I am grateful for food. I love myself some home cooking! It does NOT beat meals you eat at restaurants. It’s just divine. Especially in winter. Mum and Dad make the best hearty meals that just melt in your mouth and give your tastebuds a reason to PARTY. I am grateful my belly is filled every day and that I am never left starving.
  4. I am grateful for inspiring and goal-orientated friends. I am grateful to have travelled and moved because now I know why I did so. To meet such extraordinary friends. They’ve all accomplished so much so far and I love how we all build each other up rather than drag each other down. When you surround yourself with like minded people, you end up achieving so much and becoming a more positive, goal-driven person.
  5. I am grateful for education. It’s my passion. I think education is so important and I am so glad to be studying in a University of which I am proud to be studying at. I have learnt so much and I hope to accomplish BIG things one day with the knowledge I am gaining throughout my studies. Education really makes you think outside of the box and you see the world in such a different light. I will never get tired of acquiring knowledge and learning.
  6. I am grateful for sunshine. Whilst I am writing this, I look outside and see beautiful sunrays hitting my whole town. It’s so good to have great weather like this at Winter. I am grateful to step outside and feel the sun on my face and gather my Vitamin D. I love the SUN!
  7. I am grateful to be healthy and living. I am so fortunate to have a healthy body and being able to have no limits to what my body can do. I love adventures. This includes hiking, running, horse riding and so forth. I love to challenge myself and my body. I am grateful for my health!
  8. I am grateful for my little best friend Coco. She’s my Maltese dog. She is so cheeky and naughty but she is a wonderful companion during tough days. She listens, hahaha. She is my companion when I want to go for walks, for when I want to nap, for when I want to play active games in the back yard. She is always there. And we LOVE food.
  9. I am grateful for the Scriptures. I am Christian and belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint. More commonly known as Mormons. I am so deeply grateful to be a part of this church. I am grown so much spiritually. And I would not see things the way I do now if it weren’t for this church. It has made me a better person.
  10. I am grateful for travelling. I am fortunate enough to have lived in the Philippines, the United Kingdom and Australia. I’ve lived in each country for years. I have learnt so much from moving and I have met all kinds of people. I am grateful to have developed a love for travel and adventure. I think you get to have so many invaluable experiences and learn to see things from a global scale. I cannot wait to expand my journey to other places one day.