Writing that speaks to my soul // 112515

depressionI am quite active on media. And not just the social aspect of media. I love discovering new things. Especially blogs or writings from other inspiring people. I found a few online magazines and blogs that I absolutely love and I find completely and utterly inspiring. More people should read them because they are filled with IDEAS, MOVEMENTS, INSPIRATIONS. Things that matter. I’ll link them all below.

But one thing that spoke to me, was this one article from SOUL ANATOMY. Titled “How Depression Actually Helped Me Develop A Deep Appreciation For Life”. I read it and thought – my goodness, someone crawled into the inner cabinets of my brain and put pieces together to create this wonderfully worded piece of writing. It may not speak to all, but it definitely does to me. Depression is something I have slowly overcome. Now all that is left of me is my Anxiety. Although this is so, I still thank my experiences (bad ones) as it has really given me a different vantage point of life. So here is an except from the article, but I encourage you to read it.

Depression does this funny thing where it forces you to choose the option that only feeds it even more. Lay in bed, starve yourself, skip hanging out with friends, fail classes, ignore phone calls. It was like I already didn’t exist, so dying didn’t seem like that much of an extreme decision at the time.

After a couple of years of therapy, self-help book indulging, pages of writing and few attempts with anti-depressants, I was starting to find myself having days that I actually enjoyed. I think this was even more difficult than just being depressed all the time, because I’d believe my illness was gone only to find myself the next day curled up in bed, unwilling to move.

It was strange because there would be these times I didn’t want to exist and within 24 hours I would be completely ecstatic and wanting to get the most I could out of life. I was struggling still. I was so afraid to be sad, because I knew what my sadness could do to me. It made me think irrationally, causing me to have days contemplating whether life was worth it or not, even though deep down I knew it was.

Once I began having more good days than bad, I don’t think life had ever seemed so beautiful to me. Laughing became uncontrollable and I started enjoying even the outmost minuscule of things. I went from dreading the sun peaking out from my blinds, detesting any plans I made previously in attempt to get myself out of bed to feeling the breeze when making a left turn in a hot car as the windows were down and thanking God for it.

Read more at How Depression Actually Helped Me Develop A Deep Appreciation For Life .

Here are other sites I encourage you to browse.

  1. http://soulanatomy.org/
  2. http://www.theminimalists.com/
  3. http://moreloveletters.squarespace.com/
  4. https://www.ted.com/

 

1989

So, I know I haven’t written in a while… University has been so full on. Especially this past semester. I had been so busy that I haven’t had much time to myself or had the time to blog. But here it is!

I want to talk about Taylor Swift’s new album, 1989 which came out on October the 27th. OH. MY. GOODNESS. It is an amazing soundtrack! I was a little unsure in the beginning when she announced that this was going to be her FIRST official pop album. I mean, I had a feeling she was heading into that direction due to a few songs in her RED album that was completely styled in a pop manner. I guess it’s all right, since she has spend lots of years in her life composing country music.

Everyone has been raving on about her new album. I mean, it’s not what you think. The album’s style is not all about boys boys, and mainstream sounds. It also has included some indie, 80 synth and country folk elements that everyone can relate and love.

I love all the songs in the sound track but my favorite songs on the album at the moment is ‘I wish you would’ and ‘clean’. I guess I am affiliated with the songs because I relate to them. Songs are interpretative. It can speak out to many souls and hearts or a few. But I think, the composer knows exactly what it’s about.

I love I wish you would, because it’s about wishing someone would come back into your life, and wanting them to be there for you even though you have many differences but you’ve just got to face it and let go.

“You always knew how to push my buttons. You gave me everything and nothing”.

A kind of love that hurts, but you were happy it happened and that you’ve grown from it, and that you know it’s going to be okay.

Clean is probably the most emotional and heart felt song on the album, to me anyway. It speaks to me. It speaks about a relationship that completely shattered and left her into pieces. She knew it was a bad place to be in being with him, so she tries to distant herself from people or someone who made her feel worthless. Once she removed herself from that, she states that she’s ‘finally clean’. Even though the process of ‘cleansing’ herself was extremely agonizing.

I may have not had many relationships with guys, (only a few), I can somehow relate to them in terms of friendships. I have lost a few friends in the past due to distance and us growing apart but sometimes, you’ve got to grow on your own and survive on your own terms, without relying on any body else. I think that is what makes a strong, determined and self-reliant woman. An all rounder.

Taylor Swift really inspires me to be better. She isn’t like other famous artists who use sex, profanity and vulgarity to attract people, or prove a point. She is just being herself and inspiring others to be BETTER and to MOVE ON from the negative things in their lives. She shares her experiences with us.

I AM SUPER EXITED FOR HER WORLD TOUR! She is an amazing person. Plus, I loveeee the Polaroids she attached to her album. Soooo, 1980s.

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